


undeserving fall (this kind of sunlit love)

by loosingletters



Series: You Underestimate My Power [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Falling In Love, Fix-It of Sorts, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Sexual Content, M/M, POV Sheev Palpatine | Darth Sidious, Poetry, Possessive Behavior, Time Travel, Unhealthy Relationships, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 12:33:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30139611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loosingletters/pseuds/loosingletters
Summary: A Naboo proverb says that it takes seven steps to fall from grace or climb towards glory. Sheev had never understood why the fall wasn’t considered a victory, when he had fallen towards the dark side with laurels adorning his head.And then a Jedi Knight, who should be nothing more than a nuisance, accompanies him on a mission and Sheev finds himself wanting.
Relationships: Sheev Palpatine/Luke Skywalker
Series: You Underestimate My Power [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2213811
Comments: 19
Kudos: 73





	undeserving fall (this kind of sunlit love)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [InsomniacForevermore](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsomniacForevermore/gifts).



> I wrote this entire story in four hours. _Four_.
> 
> This story was written for Cherry because she dared me. Watch me make you cry over this ship.  
> Many thanks to [MaraLan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaraLan/pseuds/MaraLan) for beta reading this! I am truly grateful you read through this crack.

  1. **Attraction**



**The first step is attraction. A spark ignites and something catches your interest. You may be unable to pinpoint what exactly draws you in, but you realize it is something you _want_.**

Sheev enjoyed the freedoms that came with his position as Naboo’s Ambassador. If he wanted to, he could have long since become the sector’s Senator. His rivals weren’t much of a challenge, no matter how much effort they put into polishing their image. Crushing them to dust was an easy task, but it would draw too much attention to himself. While Naboo famously had young monarchs and young Senators compared to those old fools on the other planets, Sheev’s mission was clear: he could not stand out.

Like all Sith Lords before him, Sheev had to bide his time and remain an unknown figure, a footnote in the history of the Republic until the age of ignorance had passed.

While it should be a simple task, he struggled to keep the dark at bay when it wanted to do nothing more than consume, devour all his enemies and make them drown in endless torment. If he so desired, he could tear all his enemies to shreds, win each and every election brought up in whatever court he was playing in. His Master often reminded him to tame his arrogance, but only fools were arrogant. Sheev was not an idiot. He knew the extent of his abilities at all times and acknowledged some of his weaknesses.

Precisely because of this self-awareness, he knew he could talk circles around every person in the room. While at times it was amusing to see everyone fall for his lies, struggle to keep up, and avoid showing their own insecurities in the face of his greatness, it also made interactions impossibly boring. He had to endure ignorant talk, listen to people babble on about whatever currently held their interest, whether it was their families or some legislation bound to fail because nobody truly cared for it. If these small talks weren’t useful for gathering information, learning the dirty little secrets everyone kept, then Sheev would hardly pay any attention to them. He mused how much longer he could endure their bland conversation before he’d take his saber and, in a moment of madness, impale himself upon it.

The rabble was simply so insipid.

Outwardly, he could show nothing of his distaste. He replied befittingly, inserting his replies at the right time after shaping them into the perfect form. He smiled kindly, offered encouraging words, and aid. He didn’t make himself out to be remarkable but presented as just another member of their society, wishing to improve their Republic, do his part in reaching the greater good.

Every time he heard somebody use that oh so delicate justification for their action, this presumed mutual goal, he wanted to sneer.

There was no greater good, never had been, but some people preferred living in stupor with flimsy excuses.

“Ambassador Palpatine?”

Without letting his distaste shine through, Palpatine turned to the new aid nervously calling for his attention. Tekelé was the latest addition to Senator Kim’s staff. She was a petite young woman and hadn’t been chosen for her grades and recommendations, though she certainly should have been. With some proper training, she could be an asset, but Kim didn’t see that. The man didn’t see a lot of things, whether purposefully omitted by Sheev or accidentally. It didn’t matter. The only reason he was Senator at all was that he suited Sheev’s purposes.

“Yes? Is there anything I can help you with?” Sheev acted concerned. Tekelé had been sent on this mission with him to gain some experience on the daily going-ons of Naboo’s politically involved elite. Keeping her feeling thankful ensured that she might be more willing to help expose Kim’s less than legal hobbies when it was time to get rid of him.

“The Jedi negotiator has arrived,” she told him. “Should I invite him inside?”

“Yes, please. It would be amiss of us to keep him waiting, wouldn’t it?” He winked at her and Tekelé returned his smile with one of her own, naïve and sweet.

Disgusting.

She disappeared out of the door again and Sheev used the moment of peace to ensure his shields were airtight. He wasn’t too pleased that a Jedi was accompanying them on their trip to Mahranee, but it couldn’t be helped. Sheev had entertained the thought of arranging an unfortunate accident, but that would draw too much attention. Besides, he intended to move to Coruscant soon and he needed to get used to the presence of the Jedi, even if their pure light made his skin burn. His Master had urged him to get some exposure practice and so Sheev would do. The sooner he learned all he needed, the sooner he could get rid of Plagueis.

Sheev had expected to feel the Jedi’s presence before he truly saw him, but nothing prepared him for the moment the Jedi stepped through the door.

He was young, perhaps only a few years younger than Sheev. Blonde hair framed a tanned face, making his light blue eyes stand out even more. They were objectively pretty, but their beauty didn’t draw his attention as much as the man’s presence in the Force did.

It was _overwhelming_.

Sheev thought he was standing in a room with a sun, heat pressing against him, warming and welcoming in a way that could only be a warning to a Sith. Were he a lesser man, he would have lost his composure. His Master had spoken of all the most powerful Jedi, their grandmaster among them, and he had forced Sheev to learn to recognize them on sight. Sheev knew all their weaknesses and strengths. He could picture the Jedi Council in complete detail despite never having met them. His preparations had been the most in-depth, yet his Master had never spoken of this man. Certainly, had he known of him, Plagueis would have mentioned him. There was no way such a wellspring in the Force would have escaped Plagueis.

The man smiled kindly and bowed formally, the perfect picture of a calm and collected Jedi Master, utterly ignorant to whom he was in a room with.

“Ambassador Palpatine, thank you very much for letting me accompany you on your ship,” the Jedi said. “I am Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker.”

Sheev wanted to escape the room to get a fresh breath of air, he wanted to push the Jedi down to his knees, make him bow again and draw on his power for his own use.

“Please, call me Sheev,” he said before he could think twice on it. He smiled openly, hoping his voice hadn’t slurred from the intoxicating feeling that was Skywalker’s presence. He held out his hand and the Jedi shook it, his fingers as calloused as Palpatine’s. He must train often with his lightsaber. With a strength like this, he had to be a formidable fighter. Sheev would love to test himself against Skywalker, take him apart and learn his innermost workings, what circumstances had made him so beloved by the Force.

There had to be a reason he was so extraordinary. He _had_ to pry it from Skywalker’s mind.

“Thank you, Sheev. You may call me Luke in turn,” Luke replied, still oblivious to Sheev’s nature. His mental shields must be holding up well then despite his shock.

“Taking you with us was the least we could do after your Council forced you to come along on such a simple mission. A Knight of your caliber must be in high demand for far more important missions.”

Even if the Jedi pretended to be humble, Sheev had long since learned that flattery could get you nearly everywhere, and you always caught more flies with honey than with vinegar.

“I don’t mind,” Luke replied. Smiling just a bit mischievously, he added, “and I wasn’t forced, really. I actually kind of begged to take this mission.”

Interesting. “Is that so?”

“Oh yes.” Luke’s laughter rang like bells. “I needed to get out of the Temple as soon as possible. A group of Initiates is approaching the right age to be taken on as a Padawan and everyone has been pushing them at me.”

“I thought Jedi valued teaching? I have to admit, I am very curious about your Order and the Force. I read that becoming someone’s Master is the highest honor.”

Sheev preferred telling the truth or something close enough related to it. It made it more difficult for anyone to discover his actual lies.

“It is,” Luke agreed, sounding just a bit wistfully. “But I don’t feel quite ready yet to be training a child. It would also keep me from taking missions like these for a while.”

“In this case, I am glad you have decided to remain without a student a while longer. Now, please, if you will sit down, I can tell you what Naboo’s business here is.”

The two of them took a seat at the table and Sheev began to elaborate on his mission, leaving out the details he wanted to keep to himself. Surprisingly, Luke picked up on a few inconsistencies and inquired about them. Were Luke anyone else, this would have made Sheev grate his teeth, but seeing the Jedi display such intelligence only managed to catch his interest.

He wanted to know more about this Jedi.

  1. **Attachment**



**The next step is towards attachment, perceiving the object of interest as something of yours. You seek opportunities to interact with the other, indicate your interest.**

Sheev sighed and turned away from the window of his Coruscant office. It wasn’t as glorious as he’d like it to be, but Naboo was not a significant planet in their Republic. Were he of the Core, certainly the Senate would treat him better, but here he was just of a small Mid Rim planet whose best businesses were water and art exports. While water, as the Hutt’s proved so cunningly, could be a quite ingenious way of controlling the masses, it didn’t make Naboo unique in the greater scheme of things. It would be useful someday, but right now, it was only another annoyance.

Still, Sheev was advancing and slowly and steadily building up his reputation. He won favors of other Senators and their aids, took important steps in building what would someday be his Empire. He couldn’t expect it to be a finished project right away. He had to be careful, follow the path so many Masters of his lineage had trodden until he could surpass them all by sitting on the throne, the final product of centuries of work.

And being Coruscant had other, far more pleasant advantages.

“What are you thinking about?” Luke asked from his place on Sheev’s desk where he had sat down without asking, already familiar and comfortable in Sheev’s presence.

To Luke’s surprise, Sheev had sought to stay in contact with the Jedi after their mission. It had gone well, much better than expected. Suddenly the parameters of his task had become secondary to his need to learn as much as possible about Luke.

He had seen Jedi fight, protect him against insurgents. The unrestrained ferocity with which he fought was marvelous. His fighting style was more vicious and aggressive than expected of a man who presented himself so gently, speaking a thousand words about the depths hidden within him. Luke was a great conversation partner, the kind Sheev hadn’t had in years. With his Master, he could talk openly or without hiding the most of him, but each conversation doubled as a lesson and Sheev had to stay attentive and careful, ensuring he didn’t give away too much of his future plans. His Master may act like he didn’t want Sheev to betray him but remain at his side instead, but Sheev has no intention of doing so.

His Master would serve his purpose, and then Sheev would get rid of him.

He still had to hide with Luke, of course. He couldn’t reveal his status as a Sith, but he could voice many of his thoughts and doubts, the young man either agreeing with him or forcing him to truly rethink his opinion.

Luke Skywalker presented a challenge Sheev hadn’t experienced before, and he was eager to live up to it.

“The lack of greenery on Coruscant,” Sheev answered, only telling a half-lie, more than he granted most people he spoke to casually.

But he also didn’t want to keep most people. Luke was special. Sheev yearned to split his mind open and see what Luke would do broken apart, whether he’d let Sheev sew him back together with the Sith Codes on his lips, gold in his eyes.

“It is disorientating to look out of my window and not see more gardens than I could possibly count.”

Luke hummed, a sweet sound. “I feel similarly,” he said. “When I arrived on Coruscant... Let’s say I did not take well to this large planet-city. I wasn’t used to it.”

Sheev frowned. “Weren’t you raised in the temple?”

Luke sometimes said things that didn’t entirely fit with what Sheev knew of the Jedi. They were not precisely _wrong_ , they just didn’t fit and so stood out to him. He had always loathed puzzles he couldn’t solve and so he took every word that passed Luke’s lips apart, dissected it for more information on the blond.

“Ah, no, I wasn’t raised in the Temple. I’m from Tatooine, originally. My first Master raised me there.”

Sheev blinked, sorted that knowledge into the shelves of his mind occupied by Luke Skywalker. How _curious_.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why is that? I thought all Force-sensitives were to be taken to the Jedi with their parents’ permission.”

Another flaw of the Order. They should simply take the children, bend, break and mold them until they fit into the desired shape. Letting them retain any kind of memory or loyalty to their birth families, let them keep their individuality, only weakened them. Sheev had entirely rebuild himself as Sidious from the pitiful weakling that had once been a child of a noble Naboo family.

“My mother had died during childbirth and Anakin Skywalker, my father, was not in the picture,” Luke said slowly. He was definitely hiding more, especially about his father, but Sheev knew better than to pry now. One day Luke would tell Sheev without prompting out, of his own free will, and it would be the sign that his machinations had worked.

“In any case, I am glad you found your way to the Order. I believe my life would have been quite dull and gray without you in it.” He smiled, almost honestly, and watched with great amusement as Luke blushed before mumbling thanks.

Sheev had already gathered that Luke’s training had been unorthodox, nearly absurd, but the explanation behind his upbringing had, at least, managed to shed some light on that, even if it had also raised more questions.

“Now, I am quite hungry. I don’t know about you, but I would love to eat somewhere a little more private. My apartment isn’t fully furnished yet, but it has a table and chairs if you’d like to join me.”

“It would be my pleasure.”

He thought of offering his arm to Luke, an anchor, a rope that would tie the other to him for the rest of his life, but didn’t follow through with that. Instead, he left Luke’s hands free to roam and gesticulate as he began elaborating on a book he had read.

Luke was interested in whatever books on Force theory he could get his hands on and readily discussed them with Sheev. He probably felt like he had to make up for his lack of formal training as if his instinctual knowledge wasn’t far superior to any texts. Sheev and Luke’s discussions never touched upon the dark side, but they exchanged their opinions on the various forms the Force could take, how it reinforced every aspect of life you tackled with it. It was refreshing to talk to somebody who could keep up with him, who wasn’t constrained by centuries of Sith teachings as his Master, so keen to hammer all that knowledge into his mind. In turn, Luke appeared to be relatively free-spirited, uninfluenced by the outdated teaching of the Jedi as Sheev had feared at first.

Their conversation carried them out of the Senate to Sheev’s apartment. Dinner was ordered quickly, and Sheev was quite entertained with feeding Luke Naboo delicacies. While, as he knew, the Jedi ate just about everything, he was particularly fond of sweet fruits and Naboo had to offer nothing but such delicacies. Watching another praline disappear in his mouth, pink lips sucking at the chocolate, Sheev was once more reminded that he could not lose this, wouldn’t lose this sun. He would turn Luke into a void and make him hunger for him.

  1. **Love**



**After taking this step, you experience a life of pure bliss. The object of your adoration is the only thing on your mind, you feel near invincible and fully open yourself up.**

The more time Sheev spent with Luke, the more he realized how different Luke was from most Jedi. As his career progressed, he met quite a few other Jedi and compared to Luke, they were all dull and blind, unaware of the shadows lurking right outside their Temple. Sheev had suspected that Luke was entirely sublime, but it was a whole other matter to confirm these suspicions. It should make him wary that Luke was attuned enough to the way the dark side sunk its venom into even the most innocent of conversations that he could pick up on it so easily. Sheev had to watch his every move, causing even further stress and paranoia, yet he couldn’t help but enjoy their dance.

His fall to the dark side had been a slow descend, one he had chosen with his eyes wide open.

Whatever he had with Luke was equally slow, but he felt as if he were blinded by the light the Jedi brought into his life.

When Sheev watched him train, he looked positively divine. Luke joined with the Force so profoundly that his own presence merged entirely with the Living Force and could not be disentangled from it. Sheev had been unaware that such deep meditation was even possible, yet Luke exercised it with ease.

After months, Luke had become so comfortable in his presence that he didn’t mind meditating in Sheev’s company, which gave Sheev ample time to study him, take notes on Luke’s behavior. He knew that the Jedi had picked up on it, but Luke hadn’t said a word about it. In fact, he even seemed to be indulging Sheev, letting him observe as he showed his strength in the Force, be it with simple gestures or running one of his full, modified katas. He appeared to be changing his fighting style rapidly, incorporate more of the traditional moves Sheev knew of the Jedi. However, still there was something distinctly wild to it, precious and untamable.

Sheev would deny it to his dying day, but since that moment Luke first showed him one of his katas, seeing how easily Luke could destroy an enemy, he knew that he needn’t make Luke something to be molded in his image. Perhaps he only had to show him the advantage of the dark, and start him on a slow fall.

He wanted to own Luke, body, mind, soul, but he didn’t want a slave, a puppet, or an apprentice – he wanted an _equal_. Not once in his life had he possessed someone who was on his level. He could envision them side by side, ruling this galaxy, eternal as they were meant to be.

It wasn’t love; no, Sheev had no use for such a fickle and weak emotion. What he had with the Jedi ran deeper, was more significant. Their tale would be one for the history books and Sheev wanted to be there for the day it was inked into the pages.

He had to find a way to bind Luke to him, something stronger than his convictions of the light and the Jedi.

“Are you a fan of poetry?” Sheev asked.

Luke didn’t open his eyes but remained sitting in the sun of Sheev’s balcony, the golden light falling on his bare chest. They had spent enough time in each other’s company that Sheev could tell Luke had fallen out of meditation and was returning to the physical world.

“Personally, as a rebellious youth, I never much cared about it. My tutors insisted I ought to memorize all these lines and I loathed the task,” Sheev admitted. He never spoke of his youth, his mistakes. It would be too easy for others to see that a colossal change had taken place that could not be explained by the loss of his family. Sheev couldn’t allow them to dig deeper into his childhood days, discover the truth.

Luke’s lips quipped upwards, amused.

Content, Sheev continued. “I have grown to appreciate it since. Naboo is well-known for its arts. I, myself, played the violin when I was younger. I fear I have lost the skill, but I believe it is a fair trade for the knowledge I have gained since. Naboo’s most favored goddess, Shiraya, has many poems dedicated to her, but I always found them to be a little too dream-like. They appeal to lovesick teenagers who dream of finding the one person who will whisk them off their feet.”

Sheev wanted to do everything but. Teenage infatuation was beneath them. He wanted Luke to be crafted into a monument that would survive the ages, that would stand despite the tidal waves chipping away at his stone.

“ _Lay your eyes upon this field / let flowers revel in the sun / Drink this honey from the petals / sweet the wind brushing the forest / In this garden I will bring you / the earth caressing your skin_.”

A bold choice, but seeing how Luke’s breath hitched was well worth it. Sheev smiled into his glass of wine, an indulgence for this evening, and waited for Luke to indicate what precisely he thought of Sheev’s advances.

“Did your tutors make you memorize that one too?” Luke asked, his voice just a bit more tense than usual. His eyes were open now, searching for something Sheev couldn’t quite place.

“No, I believe this one was just a bit too scandalous for their tastes. Naboo is quite proud of its flowery language, preferring to hide all kinds of messages in them.”

Another moment passed, then Luke stood up and slowly walked over to Sheev. Sheev held his breath in anticipation, a thousand thoughts rushing through his mind. Sheev hadn’t said anything outright, had declared his intentions and yet not, given Luke a way out should he not accept at this point. It was an easy game to plan, exciting too, and Sheev was intent on winning it, unsure what he would do were Luke to reject him.

Luke stopped when he was standing right in front of Sheev, taller than him as he was sitting down. Stunning blue eyes studied him as if attempting to decide whether the conclusion he had reached was the right one. Sheev thought that Luke must have lost something tremendous. No matter where the Jedi was, he never appeared to entirely fit in, to be missing something. Perhaps he’d tell Sheev what it was so he could bring it back to him, to show what he was capable of.

“You are hiding a terrible thing, aren’t you?” Luke asked, his words hardly above a whisper.

They were so careful, precious as Sheev had never heard him speak before.

“I thought I might tame it,” Luke continued. “But there is no such thing with you.”

Sheev’s eyes narrowed. He wanted to know what glimpses of himself Luke had seen to cause such words. Had he shown his hand too soon, his thoughts too radical? Maybe Sheev’s rejection of the lighter aspects of the precious democracy their republic favored had been too harsh as he desperately wished to destroy it and had, in his comfort, forgotten to hide his passion.

Should this be the moment he would destroy Luke? Gain strength by the anger and grief that was sure to follow?

Sheev was kind enough to stay silent, to allow Luke to bargain. Luke had enjoyed their conversations just as much, he was convinced of it. Now he would learn if it had been enough, if he hadn’t played his cards too early.

“You have given me a terrible gift,” Luke continued. “And I don’t know whether to accept or reject it. I was made to be compassionate, to care, and it is a cruel thing to make me care so much when I know something lingers beneath.”

“So care regardless,” Sheev said, breaking his silence. “Be as you were meant to be.”

_Care about me until I consume your every waking thought until I am the first and last thing on your mind. Be what you are meant to be, Luke Skywalker. Be mine._

Luke’s smile was a sharp thing, a knife capable of cutting through even beskar. What a well-fitting weapon for a man as powerful as him. How lovely it would be if Luke would allow him to wield it out of his own free will.

“I always did want to be my father’s son,” Luke commented, speaking as if it were his own private joke.

Then he leaned down, his lips finding Sheev’s. It was better than any declaration, any other possible answer to his demand. Luke allowed himself to be tugged down into Sheev’s lap. As he had dared to hope, Luke was a greedy thing, always holding himself back with control so grand that once broken, it was shattered for eternity. They separated only when they ran out of breath, desire thick in the air, rising like the storm.

And Sheev didn’t intend to ever let him escape again.

  1. **Trust/Reverence**



**When you reach this stage, you are no longer falling in love, you are fully submerged in it. You trust your beloved more than anything and anyone else in your life.**

Their relationship changed, but not many of their interactions did. Sheev was still a part of his Master’s web and had a role to play, and Luke was still tied to the Jedi, but it was a connection Sheev was keen to chip away at, sowing doubt, planting it like sweet blue star flowers. Luke didn’t act like he had been changed much, but sometimes, in between shared kisses, Sheev could feel that he was carrying guilt shaped like the taint of the dark. It was the most delectable of sights. He knew it couldn’t take much more to make Luke separate entirely from his Order, to make him fall. Of course, such trust could not come without Sheev revealing more of himself too.

He had to entrust his secrets in stages, couldn’t let Luke see what he was truly hiding all at once. No, that would just ruin what they had, poison the lakes and the rivers, bringing destruction.

Luke valued honesty, loyalty, so Sheev would show him both, followed by regret he had never before experienced. It was miraculous to discover what emotions Luke caused to rise within him.

“I lied to you,” he admitted in the dead of night, only the stars bearing witness to this extraordinary moment.

Luke’s body next to him was warm, chasing away the cold that so very often hollowed out Sheev’s bones. Though he was dozing away before, he was wide awake now.

“Do you intend to tell me about what?” Luke asked. There was no judgment in his voice, Luke seemed incapable of such with his endless patience, but it certainly had an edge to it.

It was adorable in its own way.

Not wanting to waste his words, Sheev raised his hand, concentrated, and the next moment the book that had laid abandoned on the floor was in his hand.

“I don’t just have a passing interest in the Force. I can use it,” Sheev explained. “My parents ensured that it wasn’t registered anywhere. They didn’t want to speak to any Jedi who’d inform them of the dangers of an untrained Force-sensitive child. Everything I learned, I had to learn on my own.”

Silence followed his statement. This, surprisingly, wasn’t a lie. Sheev had expected to be telling one, modify the truth just so, but the moment he opened his mouth, the drapes of his childhood room had been torn aside, exposing the large windows. If it were within the realm of possibility, he would have assumed he’d been mind-tricked. 

Curious, how wanting to share his soul with another influenced him so much. Months ago, Sheev would have been shocked, angry too perhaps, but now he felt like he was guided to the place he needed to be.

“I apologize,” Sheev said. “I didn’t know how you’d react.”

“Thank you for telling me,” Luke said. Then he sat up, blanket pooling around his hips. “I have to confess, I already knew you were Force-sensitive. I just didn’t know to what extent you were aware of it.”

That was unexpected. “How did you know?”

Luke hesitated. “You are strong in the Force. Far more than the average sentient. And I could sense it. I never dared to delve too deeply into your mind to see the extent of your abilities. I know you like your privacy and you hadn’t given me the right to intrude on your mind like this.”

“And if I gave it to you?” Sheev heard himself ask, the dissonance between how much he ought to and how much he wanted to reveal startling. There was just something about Luke that made him want to trust him. “If I allowed you deep into my mind, to forge a bond?”

Luke blinked, the pale moonlight casting his face in doubt. “You truly would?”

“I find myself entertaining the possibility.”

“Then I would follow you down,” Luke replied. “As far as you’d let me.”

It was a gamble. He couldn’t expose his connection to his Master, all the secrets he kept, but… he could show Luke his emotions, the parts that truly _mattered_. Everything else was of little consequence. Plans could be adjusted, Empires reshaped and reimagined in even grander glory. He knew he would win and his triumphal march would begin here in his bedroom, holding the supernova the Force had revealed to him and claiming him.

Carefully, Sheev opened up his mind. He took great care that the only path Luke could see and walk was the one he allowed him to.

Luke’s eyes widened, sensing what Sheev was doing, then he allowed all tension to drop from his body. He leaned forward until his forehead was touching Sheev’s, mouth so close that Sheev could kiss him easily. Instead, they intertwined their hands, their minds, and very souls. Luke, exposed as he was now, was a work of art, finer than even Naboo’s most adored. His touch so very gentle and careful, unlike the bond he had with his Master, which was dominated by a dark sense of foreboding, glass shards, and cuts. The deeper Sheev allowed Luke to thread, the more he saw of Luke in turn. It was difficult for a Force-sensitive to dip into a mind without exposing parts of themselves. Luke was a cathedral in the desert, colorful windows of stained glass illuminating the vibrancy of his mind, the plants growing on the inside of the ancient building creating a vast jungle. Faces of people Sheev couldn’t place and had never seen before flashed in front of his eyes. Eventually, the two came to a standstill in their dance, showing each other as much as they trusted the other with at the time. Sheev didn’t think he had ever been this close to anyone else. He couldn’t remember ever experiencing this warmth before, this comfort, this home. He knew that the moment they separated, he’d be homesick for the mind sleeping right next to him.

This was what the code meant when it spoke of passion, of victory and this was barely their beginning. Sheev couldn’t wait for the day Luke would let him explore every single corner of his mind.

  1. **Worship**



**In this stage, you elevate your beloved above everyone else. You are their devout worshipper and they are everything right in your worldview. You are unable to find even a single flaw in them. It feels like the sweetest loss of control, drowning in desire.**

Sheev preferred the missions he got to share with Luke. If he had to be accompanied by a Jedi, he’d rather it be the one he truly trusted. He got the sense that Luke, despite his lack of patience for the many unnecessarily dishonest negotiations they attended, also preferred to be the one following Sheev around the galaxy. His lover wasn’t bound to bouts of jealousy, not the way Sheev was, but he knew that Luke would rather not ose sight of him.

Sometimes it felt like Luke was afraid he’d be left alone in a galaxy far too large for one soul if he didn’t keep his treasures close to him. His behavior spoke of materialism so unusual of the Jedi, and Sheev hoped the Dark Side would provide Luke with the aid needed to avoid ever feeling such fear again.

When Sheev was told to go to Alderaan, he asked Luke to accompany him, expecting a quick and easy confirmation, yet he was greeted with a moment’s hesitation.

It wasn’t a long pause, especially by the standards of non-Force-sensitives, but Sheev noticed it regardless. He didn’t react to any inquiries about his reluctance and so, despite his misgivings, Sheev was forced to drop the topic. Luke hid all his emotions behind a thick wall and hostile winds, making Sheev want to tear it down with much prejudice.

Once upon a time, he wouldn’t have thought twice about taking what he wanted, but ages ago, Luke also hadn’t mattered to him. He summoned his calm, offered his lover sincere support, and stayed quiet but within reach. The talks with Alderaan’s elite went well, not even one disturbing disagreement to be found. It was hardly a task that needed Sheev, who had risen in prestige on Coruscant, but Alderaan was a strong supporter of the Republic. If Sheev could get a closer insight into their inner workings, then the effort was worth it.

He had to admit, he was glad that this mission didn’t require him to be too attentive as he wasn’t as clear-minded as usual, keeping an eye on Luke.

Luke was distracted the entire time, hardly paying attention to the negotiations and attempting to keep himself quiet. When he thought Sheev was focused on the talks, his shields faltered and grief so deep it threatened to swallow him whole slipped out.

“What’s on your mind?” Sheev asked.

Their roles seemed reversed, Luke standing at the window and staring at Alderaan’s scenery, silently contemplating as Sheev inquired. “I can feel it across our bond. You aren’t well.”

Luke tried to measure up a smile, but it failed halfway, leaving him at the edge of a tearful breakdown behind a patient facade. “It is nothing.”

_Liar_.

Sheev didn’t want to push Luke, so he gently brushed against Luke’s mind, sending him waves of reassurance.

It shouldn’t be enough; Sheev knew it wouldn’t be for him, but Luke showed him so much indulgence and acceptance, this gesture was enough for him to break. “My best friend was from Alderaan. She was the most important person in my life for the longest time.”

_Was_ , past tense. She was dead then and not a hindrance. And yet, as happy as Sheev wanted to feel, there was not another possible obstacle in his way, a roadblock that might keep him from Luke, he couldn’t celebrate it. If he had only caught flickers of Luke’s grief before, already so damning, he now felt the entire weight of his emotions. The pain and the suffering Luke was still experiencing ran so much deeper than Sheev had previously assumed. Comparing it to an ocean didn’t do it any justice. The pit within looks heart was so much wider, devouring everything.

“I lost her,” Luke said. “And everyone else I cared about.”

He didn’t cry, but Sheev didn’t get the impression that it was because he was holding back tears, but because he had already shed every tear he could. This was the kind of grief that left its mark so devastatingly, you were incapable of mourning anything else.

This could not stand.

“Luke,” Sheev said kindly. “Are you not the one who tells me that nothing is truly lost in the Force? That the Force never forgets, never leaves you alone.”

“But I want to forget,” Luke protested weakly. “I want to forget it all. You don’t know what I lost and I dare not tell you because of what it would cause.”

His bond with Luke was strong. Sheev could simply tear the memories, the thoughts, out of Luke’s mind, if he so desired, but his need to heal and protect his lover reign supreme. He couldn’t recall when he had last selflessly considered what would be best for another person.

“What can I do for you then?” Sheev asked. “Tell me how to aid you.”

Luke laughed as if surprised. It was so broken and small compared to the beautiful song Sheev usually heard. “Can you make me forget? Just for one night, until we leave this planet again. Help me forget what Alderaan looks like, what it tastes like. Let you be the only thing on my mind.”

The request was unexpected, but Sheev had long since decided he would build Luke a Temple worthy of his glory and this was hardly a task.

“With pleasure,” Sheev replied.

Luke was a fierce wild thing, always had been despite his gentle touches. As kind as they were to each other in their mind, warmth given and received, an endless feedback loop, this could not be said of their bodies. Sheev stripped Luke of his robes without much care, just glad to get rid of the Jedi’s marks and replace them with those of his own. Kisses turned into bites, leaving deep purple hickeys on Luke’s unblemished skin, bruises in the shape of his fingers on Luke’s hips. If he could, he’d permanently burn them into Luke so he would never forget them, would only have to touch them and be reminded of the home he had found in his lover’s arms.

“ _Lost at my god’s altar_ ,” Sheev whispered into Luke’s ear as his lover begged for release. “ _Devoted to his marble skin / sink your teeth into me / beloved, let me live in your heart / the sun will pale the scars / of our victory woven into tapestries / adoration, found in your depth_.”

He made Luke his own with every touch. Skin against skin, he worshipped his lover, perfection carved out of the Force, given human form. It was fate that had brought them together, that tied them together. When Luke cried out, it was not in pain but because of sweet bliss.

Like this, Sheev would keep him if Luke only said the word. Crown him and keep him on his throne, intertwined until the very end, forever united.

He’d destroy whatever, _whoever_ , stood in his way. There was no more time to wait, to be patient. Darth Sidious would kill his Master and show his lover true devotion by presenting Plagueis’ head to him.

And then there would be peace.

  1. **Madness**



**The fall from worship to madness is easy, one of boundaries desecrated. Your mind becomes subservient to your heart and your identity feels incomplete without your beloved by your side. You start to obsess and nothing but your beloved counts.**

Sheev gave up on hiding his actions, his lover, from his Master. When he had started his relationship with Luke, he had been so careful to keep his Master away from him, lest of all Plagueis would use Luke against Sheev. But now Sheev didn’t care anymore, not when he could picture his future so very clearly, and it was beautiful.

Plagueis didn’t confront him about it.

In fact, his Master did _nothing_. Absolutely nothing at all. There was only radio silence from his Master’s side, which suited Sheev well enough, especially with Luke’s newfound eagerness to stay with him. Luke hardly left him alone anymore, was as attached to him as Sheev was to him. They were one and the same, they had always been meant to be. The Force itself rejoiced when they were in each other’s company.

Whether it were minds or bodies melding together, only in unity could they be themselves. The days where Luke didn’t follow Sheev became rarer as time progressed. He expected Luke to cut ties with the Jedi entirely within the next few weeks. And then they could finally complete his fall, drown together and be reborn anew in those primordial waters.

Content, Sheev returned to his quarters. Luke hadn’t accompanied him to the Senate today, too tired and worn out. He didn’t expect Sheev back for a while, but Sheev intended to surprise him.

He opened the door quietly, his presence in the Force entirely muted as to avoid giving himself away.

“… I am fine, Master, I promise.”

Sheev stopped in the entranceway, Luke’s voice ringing out clearly. He sounded agitated. Another mission from the Order, then? Luke was a skilled Jedi and utterly wasted on the Order. The Jedi knew of his talents and demanded he work far more often than any other member of the Order. Luke hadn’t outright said that the Order was pressuring him and judging his lingering absences, but Sheev had been able to tell anyway.

“He’s not forcing me to do anything,” Luke continued, exasperated. “I know what I signed up for. I know why I am here.”

Luke let out a sigh. “No, I’m not getting too close to it. I wasn’t trained as one of your Shadows, no, but I lived in far more dangerous times, Master Yoda, and I know very well how to keep a clear head. I know I can save him, I can feel it. He’s not that monster yet. I am not blind to his nature, but there is still good in him and my commitment to him is worth it. My father’s darkness ran far deeper, the Emperor’s was more subtle, poisonous, and Sidious isn’t there yet. I just need a bit more time. I’m sure he will tell me of Plagueis soon. As soon as I have the information, we can bring him in. Just leave Sheev to me. He is not beyond saving. I know it to be true in my heart.”

Luke was sincere.

Sheev could not find a single lie in the words that had passed Luke’s lips, every plead and declaration being something he truly believed in.

It spelled out an ugly truth, one that said Luke had kept as much of himself sealed up as Sheev. He wanted to lash out in anger at this obvious betrayal, put his hands to his lover’s throat and squeeze all the commissioned words out of him until he choked them up like blood. Luke had known the entire time and he had done everything in his power to make Sheev believe he was ignorant to his nature. He had deluded Sheev into thinking their meeting was an accident, perhaps the work of the Force.

It had always been a game, the sweetest kind of manipulation. One he had thought Luke incapable of.

Luke deserved to be struck down by his lightsaber, to be as ruined as he had ruined Sheev, ripped to shreds, rebuilt only to be destroyed again. As soon as the thought occurred to him, it left him too. No, he couldn’t hurt Luke like that after holding his grief, tasting his adoration.

Luke _deserved_ to be hurt for what he had done to Sheev, for betraying him, but it wasn’t Luke’s fault entirely. No, there were too many people influencing Luke involved. The Jedi had certainly pushed Luke to infiltrate Sheev’s heart, but they hadn’t accounted for Luke actually falling for him.

Sheev needed to destroy them all, starting with his Master, that pitiful Sith. Sheev had been ready to take him out for ages now. He had only waited because of Luke, unwilling to risk it when he had so much to lose, but now Sheev needn’t concern himself with such thoughts.

He _would_ kill his Master and then he’d take Luke from the Jedi and remind him who he truly belonged to, whom he had wronged with his actions. Perhaps he’d really burn his mark into Luke as a reminder, tie them together by it, ensure his lover knew the price of his betrayal and would not attempt to do so again.

“I wouldn’t call it _love_.”

Sheev had to leave now, but he remained just a moment longer to listen to Luke, see what other truths he’d confess.

“I have loved and lost, and this is not it, but…” Luke trailed off and Sheev knew he was biting his lips thoughtfully. “In the future, you taught me that a Jedi must not allow anything of the dark. So I embraced that lesson and drew my own interpretation from it. According to that lesson, I have to try. Perhaps I am more enamored with the thought of saving him, not just ending the terror before it can begin, but turning it to healing instead, than I am with him as a person, but is that so wrong? I look at him and I see everything he could be and I so very desperately wish to witness it.”

His dear, foolish lover. There was no saving, only the Force. And Sheev had become its Master.

Sidious would rule his Empire, Luke by his side. Whether he would be sitting next to him or kneeling at his throne now remained to be seen.

As silent as he had entered his apartment, he left it. Luke none the wiser.

  1. **Death**



**This is the final step you take. You don’t perceive your identity as self but only within the constraints of _loved_ and _beloved_. You cannot turn away from this path and this is where your story ends as one cannot exist without the other.**

Once, what felt like years ago now, his Master had commented on Sheev’s arrogance. He had warned his apprentice to be careful, to move slowly and wisely instead of rushing in like a headless fool. Knowing his Master to be a brilliant strategist, Sheev had listened to him, internalizing the lesson until his façade had been so perfectly crafted, he’d thought nobody could see through it.

But Luke _had_.

Suddenly all his Master’s lessons had seemed redundant as they had failed to prove useful. What was the point to staying hidden and silent if, when confronted, Sheev had still been so very easily unmade? In his rage, shaken by Luke’s betrayal, he disregarded the lessons that had brought him into this situation in the first place. He wanted to fix his mistake, retrace all the steps that had led him here and become better.

As it turned out, he’d never get the chance to do anything at all.

His Master had anticipated him. Plagueis, for all that he preferred mind games to physical fights, was an excellent duelist, he’d taught Sheev most of what he knew. In his blood-red anger, Sheev had underestimated his Master and would now pay for this carelessness with his life.

“I had hopes for you, Apprentice,” Plagueis sighed, disappointment apparent.

Sheev was sure that he had broken his arm and some of his ribs, his lightsaber laid on the ground, abandoned and out of reach. Plagueis had tossed him around like a ragdoll, content to drag this game out and teach his apprentice one pitiful last lesson. As Plagueis fought him, Sheev couldn’t help but think that this battle would have been easier with Luke at his side, his burning light bringing on Plagueis’s downfall whereas it wouldn’t hurt Sheev as he had become used to it.

Was that perhaps the reason he had failed so spectacularly? He had gotten so used to the light surrounding Luke. He had fooled himself into thinking that Luke was falling, that Sheev recognized the Dark in him, when in fact it was Sheev slowly dragging himself out of muddy waters, hand outstretched towards Luke’s light, hoping it may save him from the cold.

Sheev didn’t know how long he had been shivering in the freezing depths of the Dark until Luke had decided to warm him up. Sheev didn’t need to be saved. Being saved implied that he hadn’t reflected his own position and chosen the Dark, but stumbled into it like a naïve child. He had known exactly what he had signed up for when he had first kneeled in front of Plagueis. He had known that this would only end with him killing his Master or him lying dead at his Master’s feet.

Such was the way of the Sith, their Rule of Two. It was an utterly flawed system. So many events could interrupt the passage of knowledge from Master to student. Sheev had wanted to get rid of it entirely, crown himself the last member of Bane’s lineage by making himself as immortal as the Force.

Immortality, how sweet it tasted on his tongue until the very idea of it, that eternal isolation, had become poison.

“I invested so much time in you. May the Force have a high purpose for you, Sidious,” Plagueis said, raised his blade and—

“No!” A shout rang out. The next second passed too quickly for Sheev to process properly. One moment he was lying beneath Plagueis’s blade, the next, he was thrown against the wall, knocking the breath out of him, as a figure took his place instead. Plagueis fell back, his head separated from his body, and the figure in front of him, hair as light as gold, sunk to the ground, Plagueis’ lightsaber deactivating.

All pain forgotten, Sheev got to his feet and rushed over to Luke, who was pressing his hands on the burn.

“I’m glad I wasn’t too late,” Luke said, smiling despite the wound in his gut, stealing away his life one breath at the time. “I didn’t mean to deceive you.”

“Keep quiet!” Sheev hissed. Luke had to stay quiet, just focus on breathing. Lightsaber injuries were horrific as the critical help needed often came too late. Luke had to see the healers right away.

Plagueis must have managed to stab him just as Luke finished him off. What a pyrrhic victory, Sheev wouldn’t stand for it.

He was angry, he was _terrified_. The mix of emotions unsettled him, destabilized him. Sheev couldn’t focus. He had to do something, but all his strength was gone.

A gentle hand laid on his cheek, forcing Sheev to look at Luke.

“This was never going to end differently, love,” Luke said, appearing peaceful as if he had come to terms with this situation.

No, no, _no_ —

“I won’t allow it.”

Luke couldn’t leave him. He didn’t know who he’d be without him.

“Hold on,” Sheev ordered, _begged_ , desperately reaching out for that bright light he had forsaken for the longest time. It felt clumsy in his hands as if he were a child learning how to walk and he knew it wouldn’t be enough, no matter how much he tried.

“It’s alright,” Luke muttered. He was getting paler by the second. “I was never supposed to be here in the first place, freak accident. Maybe— maybe I’ll go home now. I miss my sister.”

Luke’s light was flickering. The bond that had so steadily supported Sheev all this time was starting to dissolve and time ran out like sand in an hourglass.

“I’m glad you’re not him,” Luke continued. Raindrops were falling on his face and Sheev couldn’t find them a shelter from the downpour. “That you won’t be him. Promise me. _Please_.”

Sheev had always valued his freedom and yet, all chains around him broken, he didn’t feel free. He thought he was left without a single choice, only able to pick one option, the path Luke had attempted to show him in all its colors.

“I promise,” he replied.

Luke smiled at him one last time, open, honest, and beautiful. “Thank you.”

“Don’t leave me,” Sheev asked, his voice hoarse. Pain unlike any known to him tore at his heart. It was futile begging, he knew it, but he couldn’t keep his words from spilling over anyway.

Luke closed his eyes. His chest was rising and falling still, but it was slowing down. Luke was _fading_ and Sheev was helpless to watch.

“Please,” Sheev prayed to the gods whose praise he had stolen to worship his lover. “Please, don’t leave me. I love you _, I love you_. Luke, _please_.”

The Jedi found him clutching his lover’s body, long gone, finally at peace.

He didn’t resist arrest.

.

.

.

_Epilogue_

A toddler was standing in front of him. His hair was bleached out from the sunlight, his skin tanned. He couldn’t be much older than four or so and very out of place in these archives.

Sheev raised his brow at him. “Can I help you?”

“You feel _weird_ ,” the boy declared, frowning thoughtfully, but that only looked cute on his chubby cheeks. “What’s wrong with you?”

_A lot of things_ , Sheev thought drily. He had stopped counting a while ago, no longer seeing the point to it. Out loud, he asked. “Where’s your crèchemaster?”

The boy shrugged. “Dunno, they were boring so I ran away. I’m searching for Obi. Can you help me?”

Sheev could, but he didn’t particularly feel like it. He had important research to complete and he’d rather finish it sooner than later so he could go back to all the other things keeping him busy at the time.

And yet, Sheev only sighed in defeat when the boy was looked up at him with familiar bright blue eyes. “Alright.”

The boy cheered and, fearlessly, held up his hands, expecting to be carried. Children trusted so quickly. Sheev knew they had nothing to fear here, not even him, and yet he was always amazed to see how very easily they decided they were comfortable with an adult. Sheev lifted him up and carried the boy through the Temple, following whatever odd directions the boy had. After the first ten minutes or so, Sheev gained the impression that the boy was more listening to the Force than recalling any concrete path, not that Sheev would be able to tell. The few people they encountered during these hours sent them questioning glances, eyeing the suppressants around his wrists, but nobody said something out loud. He was still a stranger in these halls, but the kind whose presence the village had embraced.

After what felt like ages, the two arrived in front of a door. Sheev read the door sign with some curiosity, but the boy had no qualms about knocking against it.

“Coming!” Footsteps could be heard, then the door opened and a Padawan looked at them. He stared at Sheev in confusion and mistrust, then his eyes fell upon the boy.

“Anakin!” he exclaimed and quickly took the squirming boy from Sheev. “What are you doing here?”

“I was bored and found him. He felt _weird_ ,” the boy, Anakin, said, whispering the last part as if it were a grand conspiracy. “I wanted to show you.”

“I know he feels weird,” the Padawan replied, sounding thoroughly exhausted. “It’s complicated.”

“Not all that complicated,” Sheev interjected. “Former Sith Lord Darth Sidious at your service. And you are?”

The Padawan hesitated, then he began to speak. “I’m Obi-Wan Kenobi, and this is Anakin Skywalker. My Master and I brought him here from the Hutt territories recently.”

Anakin _Skywalker_.

_[I always did want to be my father’s son.]_

After all these years, some days passed in which Sheev didn’t think about Luke despite living with the Jedi, still learning how to be one of them and, more often than not, failing spectacularly. Luke was, and always would be, the brightest part of Sheev’s life. He could still recall so many details about his deceased lover in great detail, from his interest in speeders to his interest in the Hutt Space. Sheev had assumed that Luke had been raised on one of the planets there, had narrowed it down to Tatooine, in fact, given Luke’s narrations of the desert.

A Force-sensitive as strong as Luke, raised by the wrong people, in Hutt Space could grow up to be a monster. The darkness that could be beaten into someone under those suns was not to be underestimated.

“Keep an eye on this one,” Sheev told Kenobi seriously. “He’s capable of terrible things.”

Anakin only tilted his head in confusion, but Kenobi straightened his posture, nodding once. Funny how easily they heeded the words of a former Sith Lord, but then again, Sheev hadn’t made use of the Dark in years.

Later, after a long day of Anakin talking his ear off, Sheev laid in bed, contemplating this chanced meeting.

_Would you be proud of me?_

Luke didn’t answer, but Sheev thought he felt the same welcoming warmth he had during their first meeting, the ghost of a touch. It was enough of a confirmation.

He fell asleep with a smile.

**Author's Note:**

> And? Are we feeling uncomfortable yet? hahaha
> 
> Thanks for reading! I'd love to hear what you think of this truly wholesome ship uwu.


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